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Chuck Norris

D.O.B. 1940-03-10 | Actor | Martial Artist
Best known for:
  • Way Of The Dragon
  • Walker Texas Ranger
  • Chuck Norris Facts


"Now That's Pain!"

Not me, but a friend had an uncle who went to a new bar with some friends and Chuck Norris was sitting there. The bartender explained to them (because they were the new guys) that Chuck Norris was a regular there, and he was a pretty calm, quiet guy and he didn't like a lot of attention.
They basically ignored him as best as they could. hen, some other dude gets super wasted and starts basically harassing Chuck Norris, drunkenly quoting his movies and what not. He tries to imitate some of Chuck's moves and falls over into a barstool, knocking himself out and destroying the stool. The whole bar goes silent and my friend's uncle says "Now that's pain!" and Chuck Norris laughs out loud, the first sound he's made all night.
Much later that night, when they go to leave the bar, the bartender lets them know Chuck Norris already paid their tab.

Said His Wife Was Hot

When I was sixteen my first job was at a Cinemark movie theatre. I was pretty new there, and they had me working as a runner for concessions, meaning I would only fill up sodas and popcorn. I heard someone around me say "Oh my god! Chuck Norris is here!" and being the awesome teenager that I was I immediately quipped "Chuck Norris? I heard his wife is hot!"
Right when I say that I turn around to set down a bag of popcorn, and who is standing right in front of me?

Chuck. Fucking. Norris.

He had this giant shit eating grin on his face.
This was before any of his internet stardom, and he was still in the middle of filming episodes of Walker Texas Ranger. I know he heard me say that stuff about his wife, and for a second I thought about the fact that he had studied under Bruce Lee, and had held many martial arts titles in his day (I was sort of obsessed with Bruce Lee at that time), and how he could have easily struck me from across that counter, or pulled me over it, or jumped over it and kicked my ass with an assortment of candies that were beneath me.
He doesn't say a goddamn word to me though, just looks me dead in the eye. And winks. Chuck Norris winked at me because I said his wife was hot. He grabbed his popcorn and his drink, and walked away while I stood there dumbfounded and probably ghost white. Since that happened I have not aged a day, which is an eternal curse, because now I'm stuck in the body of a shit headed sixteen year old.

Crashed His ATV

His ranch is close to were I go to school. One of my friend's (who is a native here) father was running for some position in the city, so Chuck Norris invited their family to his ranch.

My friend's brother crashed his ATV, and as a joke they took a picture of his brother in a headlock. With Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris Was My Neighbor From 96-2004

chuck norris was my neighbor from 96-2004. i saw him at our country club sometimes. he also came to my grandparents house for a huge party they had back in 97. my family said he was a super nice guy

I Hung Out With Chuck Norris.

I was at a bar in NYC with some friends because my best friend had never been to NYC before. I think we were the only one who recognized him, but we offered free drinks and stuff. He ended paying for everything himself, which I thought was awesome. He had some pretty funny stories that he told us. It sucks balls I can't remember what they are.

At A Martial Arts Banquet That I Went To In Dallas.

Chuck Norris came to a martial arts banquet that I went to in Dallas.
He came because this really famous guy named Jhoon Rhee was coming to speak and he was basically the guy that brought modern Tae Kwon Do to America. Well anyways I got to meet him, his wife and his two daughters and he was a really cool guy.

Big Tipper

Chuck Norris tipped me $150 bucks... on a $30 bill, was right around the time the Chuck Norris jokes were becoming popular, and while i was taking the order I overheard a coworker make one of the jokes, saw chucks face just sorta tighten like "not this shit again" and I politely excused myself, took the other employee aside and told them to leave him the fuck alone so he could eat

I Built A Fence For Chuck Norris.

I built a fence for Chuck Norris. He lives in this real rich neighborhood down the street that my brother plays golf at. So one time after this bad storm, I see him checking out the damage while I am driving by dropping my brother off. I pull over to talk to him because it's Chuck fucking Norris. We were having a normal celebrity- commoner conversation when I jokingly said I can fix his fence for $200. He agrees and me and 2 friends built him a fence. He gave all 3 of us $200.